My Pitch to the SyFY Channel

This is my to pitch to the SyFy channel, that oasis of creativity that brought us “Sharktopuss”, and “Megashark Versus Giant Octopus”.

OctoShark– Sharktopuss in reverse!  Evil scientists working with the US Navy genetically combine an octopus and a shark. But this time the use the octopus’s head so he is much smarter. And the shark’s tail, so it is really fast!  For cast we are thinking Eric Roberts playing the identical twin of the character he played that got killed by Sharktopuss. Only this time he get’s killed by OctoShark!

MexiCobra- What is the one thing that scares Americans more than giant, poison-spitting snakes? Mexicans! And these are not the good Mexican’s we are talking about here;  the ones that come to our country to work and give their families a better life. No, these are the MexiCobra’s! They sneak across the border to wrap their taut, scaly bodies around unsuspecting sorority girls!
And to get on welfare, of course. For casting, Danny Trejo, from “Machete” is a natch.

Bananaconda-Sequel to MexiCobra. With Meagan Fox as the whore.

RhinoMite!This is actually a cartoon for kids. RhinoMite is a very, very small rhinocerous that totally kicks ass! To be voiced by Jimmy Williams.

Pretty Woman 2, starring Julia Roberts! Now that got your attention didn’t it? Eric Roberts is already on the payroll, so we get him to invite his sister Julia over for Thanksgiving dinner. The first thing he gives her when she arrives is mug of eggnog laced with 3 tabs of acid. And then things get crazy. The whole house is covered with cameras and we have the crew from “Scare Tactics” do their thing, and rock Julia’s world!  Like maybe Eric starts to carve the turkey, and it screams and jumps off the table! Eric’s little girl (Julia’s niece) starts barfing up huge amounts of blood!  Then a capuchin monkey dressed as Satan, emerges from a giant silver egg and attacks Julia! By this time she will be freaking out pretty good, so we will get ton’s of great footage. Then it is just a matter of getting her to sign a contract before she stops tripping.

See full post here: But I digress....2010-11-17.